It's the year 2018, so you think we might have learned a thing or two about how we should relate to each other. Thanks to the women who bravely shared the things they had to endure, when they worked – or just – were men, you might think that men got the clue and the women they live with on this planet , no longer bothered.
But if you're a woman who reads this story, or if you pay attention to the news, you know that the male claim is still very much alive and healthy, and that ugly things happen all too often in the workplace. On the positive side – And because it's 2018 – women have multiple networks and forums to turn to as they go through these negative experiences. One such woman was Reddit user Shanghai-Sohigh, who started a very useful discussion about what to do when a guy feels uncomfortable at work. Thanks to their thread, we've been able to gather eight useful tips for dealing with customers, employees and even bosses who are making unwanted progress during your working day. And remember, if you're in an uncomfortable situation, never blame yourself – no matter what you do, it's not your fault.
I am definitely guilty of letting things slip all day and not thinking about how I could have done anything else, I am definitely to blame for letting things slip through the day and not thinking about how I would have done otherwise until I get back home later that night, or worse, weeks down the line.
But the truth is, it's definitely more productive to cause bad behavior when it happens. Reddit user Edward_Russet urges women in this situation to make their boundaries known as soon as possible:
"Say something like," Ok, stop it now. "Make a comment about my body, my appearance, or anything sexual is inappropriate, unwelcome, and must stop immediately. to our supervisor end of the conversation. "Pusser4life says it might be helpful to remember when you confront him: 1. That's what you do 2. That's why it's wrong, that's the result I want to see."
Ideally, this type of conversation will be a glowing moment that will make him leave you alone. Many women do not speak because they fear that they show weakness, cause problems or even worse – they risk their job. Bellamy1715 suggests practicing trust and authority in a male friend.
You can practice doing things like "Please do not touch me", "I do not give personal information" and "If you have no further questions about the product, the cashier is right there."
Practicing in the mirror can also be very helpful if you are shy about a confrontation. It might be difficult for the first time, but the more you practice, the easier it will be. "User_anon_throwaway_" says that body language and self-confidence can also help. Look straight in. Look into their eyes and do not stop, say calm and clear, "they write. And if it is an inappropriate customer, he will advise you to remember that the customer is in your room: "You can kick them out if you have to, you are not alone, they can not hurt you and you can protect yourself if you have to.
A self-defense class can also be helpful to boost your confidence, suggests Trawid2016. Once you realize that even the toughest people have weak points, it will be much easier to prevail against people and not be so scared.
Well, that's a workout I could do. Try to keep your emotions to a minimum. It is no surprise to someone somehow familiar with gender bias that men are praised for the same behavior women are criticized for. And there are even some tasteless descriptions reserved exclusively for women.
While I hesitate to punish any woman for showing her feelings, it may be best to leave the feelings behind when responding to an unsavory or offensive workplace incident. In any case, the woman urges to say something in this situation:
"Very few men take bad statements very seriously, but most people with bad social signals appreciate things like, Hey, you're too close. [your] Limits said, you can give me more than command and then let go. Please drop it and say, "Back now." Well-meaning people will listen to your first expression of discomfort. A guy who behaves worse after being told how to behave is not a good guy.[So,] You do not have to be super nice to him.
The redditor also says to avoid your claims with phrases like & # 39; & # 39; Nice talk to you, because they read this. "OhLookShinny agrees and says," You might even think that you enjoy it or that you enjoy it or whatever. "Reeksofhavoc agrees," The most important thing is not to be emotional in any way. "Be aware of your limitations and the way you do it, and do not let people treat, touch, or talk to you, and you do not owe them an explanation." If you're allergic to confrontation, you can try the guy Some women absolutely hate the notion of confrontation – and I'm one of them – although I definitely recognize that building the self-confidence to confront someone directly about their actions is the most productive solution, I tend to become timid, anxious, and uncontrollable when I know that there is a problem I need to address.
I am glad that people have given some helpful tips to those of us who tend to be more insecure in difficult conversations.
The redditor who deleted his account since this post wrote:
"Age, really?" Works for the strangest comments, combining it with a disapproving look, a long pause, and then continue your conversation as if he had not spoken. "
Gleenlass also advises:
"If he keeps asking about inappropriate borderline issues, you can change the subject, stare at him, or just ignore his existence … If my husband asks me something I think is stupid or annoying, I keep saying, What? until he gives up, I gain from ignorance. "
Sure, that may not be the strongest move, but it might be worthwhile to get the conversation going in the work. A fitting commentary can throw off even the most powerful women, so it's helpful to have some kind of script that works outright Conversation, or at least prevent it from escalating.
Several red-shirts shared the amazing things they said or said when they were addressed by repulsive men. Here are some favorites: Customer: So … Where do you live? Answer: Sorry, I can not help you with this. Customer: Where did you go to college? .Customer: Where are the men's trousers? Answer: Gang 4. Have a nice day!
– intjperspectiveHim: Can I get your number? Me: You are welcome to call Monday through Friday 9-5. They can help you with any questions you may have. Jim: No, I want to call you! Me: Oh, I do not work in the call center, I work here! I'll show you cool features of Product ™ ️Him: Do you ever want to go out? There is this cool new cafe nearby. Me: interesting! I wonder who their product provider is. I have to tell my colleague that he should take care of it. Thanks for the tour! Now back to Product ™ ️.
– LuckyIThinkThem: So you live here? You: Can I help you with something about your account, sir? You: What's going on? Do not you want to tell me where you live? You: I have to call my supervisor to help you better, sir.
– ReturnOfTheBurner8If you are not dealing with a client, but with colleagues or even your supervisor, Abeno_police has a few suggestions. "If it's a colleague, [say] Hey, come unproductive somewhere else. If it's someone up [you, say]"Sir, you make it hard for me to do my job, could we postpone that later?"
Any supervisor who can not accept this clue is not just a stalker, but also very bad at his job. Make sure your supervisor knows what's going on and is on your side. Ideally, you should be the person and then confront your supervisor, then HR, before escalating to legal routes. But if a situation is too uncomfortable or you are worried about your safety, it is best to go straight to your boss.
As user sangetencre says, "Talk to your manager about how much room you have to make sure they have your back, and understand that it's not rude to stand your ground and set boundaries."
Make it clear to your boss what's going on at work. You can say something like, "This way and that makes it hard for me to work because he said things like x, y and z, I'd like to find out what we can do to keep working without his involvement."
Hopefully, the two together can find a viable solution that ultimately makes the commute less unpleasant. Talk to Your Company's HR Team If you are in the unfortunate situation of not succeeding in talking to the annoying person or your supervisor, you may need to talk to your HR team and see if you have any legal action.
Redditor SuperConfused gives this advice:
"Document your actions against you, especially something illegal Contact HR Imagine what happens It does not matter if they're in another state, it's their job to handle such things, a hostile working environment, tell them, that you really do not want it [jeopardize your standing with] the company, but you can no longer take his behavior. Do not lie. "
I've seen people approaching HR in similar situations, and the more evidence you've collected, the more solid the case you'll have. BCC itself any questionable messages, or make sure you send something inappropriate, which screengrab.Create yourself on the subject.