Brooke Gould is a 27-year-old woman who feels condemned every day. When people hear that she is unemployed, she is lazy and just does not want to work. On the contrary, she wants to work more than anything else, but she will not let her go. Gould shared her story he The powerful, a digital health community that shows how she learns to accept her mental illness and what it means for her future in the world workforce,
Gould was 22 when her life changed forever. She was diagnosed anxiety, Bipolar 2, Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD. Since her diagnosis, Gould has struggled with the fact that she has to feed herself, but finds it almost impossible to get her out of bed every morning. Gould has become incapacitated for work and says that she wants to learn it without being ashamed.
"I want to work," she wrote in her post, "but what you can not see is a woman who needs two hours to wake up and have only a fraction of a chance to face the day."
She is not alone. In a series to study mental health at work The globe and the post office reported that within a week aAt least 500,000 Canadians called sick to work because of a mental health problem. Gould understands this better than anyone else, because she says the idea of getting up, taking a shower, getting dressed and going to work is like running a marathon.
While employees with mental health problems are entitled to leave options, it is not always that easy in the mind of someone who has problems. "If I can not even rest assured that I can wake up in the morning and brush my teeth, then I'm sure I will not have anyone to hire me and then drop them,"Wrote Gould.
Gould says she admires the people in her life who can get up every morning, no matter what day or night they had; the people who do not have to be everywhere but still have the motivation to get out of bed and start their day. "I look at these people and can not understand that they do not realize how well they are able to do such low-key tasks and not get exhausted and ready to go back to bed"She wrote.
According to Gould, seeking advice from these productive people has proven pretty useless. Gould says her advice is always a single word she finds extremely frustrating: rOutin. Although she is supposed to be helpful, she says that the word is just condescending. "I'm sorry, but it just does not work that way, and I hope you do not have to experience this blackness and finally understand why it's not so easy," she wrote in her post.
Having a disability was not something she had wanted but something she had to do to feed herself. "I know in my heart that I'm not a capable employee, and I have to accept that and agree," Gould wrote. "I would rather have the occasional feeling of shame about disability payments than the blame for taking a job from a fully capable employee somewhere."
But it's possible to be out there again, Brittany King, the founder of the nonprofit organization Foundation for the future, tells shine in an interview. King says When she graduated from college, she changed jobs every 6 to 12 months. & # 39;I just thought I got bad jobs, "she admitted. "I would sit for hours and do nothing, what I produced was sloppy, I was often invited to meet my bad habits, I hated it." Only when she found the root of her problem could she finally finish the cycle. After seeing a psychiatrist, King says that she has discovered that she is experiencing depression. "My undiagnosed depression kept me in ruins," she said. She continued to learn how to cope with her mental illness and eventually became a successful career coach. "When the tooth is freed from my life, I can help others find work that they love," King said.
While King's success story for Gould may be on the horizon, right now she is accepting where she is on her journey. & # 39;I learn to feel a little "OK" when I say, "I'm actually disabled and I'm not working right now." She hopes that when she recognizes her struggles and agrees with them, she finally feels a sense of peace becomes.